There’s nothing like an apple
Not a thing
In summer, fall, millenium or spring
The crisp, collapsing clutter in the mouth
Wet sugar squirting east, west, north and south
To read Mark’s other Spring Poetry Runoff Competition entries, go here and here.
9 thoughts on “There’s Nothing Like an Apple by Mark Penny”
Mmmmm. I like how you’ve put “millenium” in the spot where winter should go. Seems like a thousand years, doesn’t it?
I totally agree—that word made the poem my favorite thing today.
“Collapsing clutter” is the perfect phrase for what happens in the mouth when eating a really good apple.
You can thank a long string of really tasty apples for this one.
I like those bits, too. I don’t know where “millennium” came from, but it fit right in. For me it has a real “After Apple Picking” feel. “Collapsing clutter” pleases me, too–on the page or in the mouth.
Should I change “squirting” to “shooting”, though? More of a fireworky feel.
The apple in this poem, for me, is green…one of those sweet green apples.
“Sugar shooting” has a nice alliteration. Although “squirting” really gets the saliva flowing. I’d say that’s a toss up.
Sounds like a leave-as. Thanks for the input, folks.
“Squirting” gives more the sense that the wet sugar is under the duress of teeth and tongue, more a sense of lushness, of the natural accident of being crushed and having juice fly everywhere as a consequence.
That clinches it. Thanks, Will.